The Cabal Collection: Secret Societies, Shadowy Agencies & Totally Real Organizations (Probably)

For centuries, whispers of hidden organizations have echoed through dark alleyways and online forums. The Deep State, the Illuminati, the Lizard People HR Department—all names spoken in hushed tones by those who know too much.

And yet, no official merch has ever surfaced.

Until now.

Welcome to The Cabal Collection

Here at Fortean Giftorium, we believe that if people believe in it, we can put it on a T-shirt. Enter The Cabal Collection—a line of apparel dedicated to the shadowy, bureaucratic, and entirely unverifiable organizations that secretly run the world… or don’t.

We’ve taken the most feared, most whispered-about, and most ridiculous deep-state conspiracies and turned them into official (read: completely unofficial) uniforms. Whether you want to blend in with the power brokers or mock the paranoia-fueled nonsense of internet forums, The Cabal Collection lets you wear your favorite fake organizations loud and proud.

What’s in the Collection?

We’re talking bold, block-letter authority for the true operatives. Among the first classified releases from The Cabal Collection, you’ll find:

👁️ Deep State Operative – The gold standard of vague authority. Are you in charge? Are you a joke? No one will ever know.

💼 Black Budget Accountant – Someone’s got to cook the invisible books.

🛠️ Clandestine Janitor – The real cleaners behind the cleaners.

📂 Unacknowledged Project Manager – Running things you’ll never hear about.

🐍 Official Lizard People Liaison – Making first contact for centuries.

📡 Deep State IT Support – Keeping your mind-control chips updated since forever.

🤡 Satanic PTA Treasurer – Because someone is funding those suspicious bake sales.

And many more—because for every shadowy cabal, there’s a matching T-shirt.

Why Wear a Shirt That Doesn’t Exist?

Because it makes people nervous. Because it’s funny. Because it’s the Fortean way—to hold a mirror up to the world’s weirdness and laugh in its eerie glow.

Wear The Cabal Collection and instantly become:
✅ A walking classified document
✅ An enigma wrapped in satire
✅ Someone who knows things (or at least looks like they do)

The truth is out there. And now, so is the merch.

🕵️‍♂️ Shop The Cabal Collection Now 🕵️‍♂️

Classified until further notice.